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I moved to a sublet flat in Rijswijk in September. I exchanged money and keys in the middle of the night after an eleven hours drive, and suddenly found myself living in a flat full of very personal looking sculptures, drawings, photographs, postcards. A little mother Mary bottle by the bath, wild looking plants, melted candles.
I walked to a local grocery store, very likely the same one that my landlady used for shopping and I painted my toenails with a nail polish I found on the floor. I couldn't help but wonder if in a way I was renting not only her flat, but also some of her life.
After I moved out, we arragned a meeting in her house. While she's making me a tea, I was sitting quietly on the sofa, noticing every little thing that has changed. The rug on the wall, the Jesus picture, the plants – the house smelled differently. I was a guest there and it felt very clear.
I showed her the photographs and asked how did she feel about them.
She said “it's interesting, it's like someone has taken my being and put it into another body, or filled a gap caused by my absence”
and I knew exactly what she meant.
Big thanks to Shani Leseman
Images no. 6 and 8 created in collaboration with Patricia Kühfuss
Zine created with great support of Sybren Kuiper